Friday, July 18, 2008

Fresh Blog Alert


Monkey see...
These days, any monkey or idiot man-child with a laptop can, and often does, start their very own music blog (you are reading this one, aren't you?). We all know there's plenty out there that doesn't warrant the energy expended to make a couple mouse clicks, so it's refreshing when a truly gifted writer decided to weigh in on the state of music.

Enter Andrew J. Spaceman and his finely crafted blog, A Star To Sail Her By. He's a Writer in every sense of the word and has been for as long as I've know him (12 years, which is like 108 years in blog years). Someone should pay him handsomely to put pen to paper. Until then, he'll do it for free like the rest of us.

His mission is simple... he's calling out the artists that need to be shot down, while lifting up the ones that deserve his praises. Even with those short arms of his, he succeeds. Andrew's wit cuts deep and his knowledge base is broad. He's not afraid to take the piss out of the undeservedly over-hyped fluff, all the while retaining an air of self-deprecation with his words.

Ghetto Nation, please dig these choice quotes and update those RSS feeds...

On Air France:
I give them an 8.6, the same as Pitchfork did, except mine is on a scale to 100. It's the kind of lame dance music I might listen to if I was taking staggering amounts of white drugs and, oh yeah, was fucking deaf.

His retort to Jack White's poetic ode to Detroit:
The laid off leave their burning cars
Betwixt all the burned out tenements
walk a few blocks to their dealer’s bar
gunfire sprays out of every end of it
a drunk knife fight over a hot crack pipe
by a burning dumpster in the back slum
Jack White moved where it’s safe at night
From Motor City, where there is no sun.


A tangent on his disdain for American Idol:
Once I get that reality TV hate flowing through my veins, I'm hard to stop. I make Simon Cowell look like Joel Osteen. Speaking of, here's some reality I'd love to see on my television screen: Simon Cowell and Joel Osteen fight to the death! One's a Christian self-help guru, the other is British!

Prefacing the new Features record review with a quick, well-known history lesson:
To their credit, it was a rather unsavory proposition: cover "All You Need Is Love" for a credit card commercial. John Lennon would roll over in his grave and puke up a bullet. Naturally, Nada Surf picked up that blank check and ran, dreadlocked twat bassist and all
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1 comment:

Andrew said...

Thanks for the rather unexpected shout out, Joseph. Nice blog, by the way. I've been keeping up with it ever since I found it, and listening to the show whenever I can.

As for me, hell, I'd throw feces around for free, but I am being paid in big yellow bananas.